Guilt Called

This time, I didn’t answer.

Hey there, Moxie Mommas!

Have a minute? I need to share something.

A few weekends ago, I was chatting with one of my daughters about her recent break-up. “I need space,” she admitted. “I need to find out who I am.”

As I listened to her, I felt a quiet sense of pride wash over me. Here she was, feeling a little lost and yet wise enough to recognize when something wasn’t right for her. While I listened in silence, my insides were popping the champagne bottle, and here’s why:

When I was her age, I was in an unhappy relationship and yet I stayed longer than I should have. It took me years to admit that being alone is better than being lonely, which is how I felt in my relationship at that time.

And then I had a thought…

What if she’s feeling lost because I wasn’t enough for her…

And so, I brought it up.

“Sometimes I feel like I wasn’t enough for you when you were little… didn’t give enough of myself.”

Her response, “No, mom. You were everything. I’m here because of me. I made a bad decision.”

Not gonna lie. My internal champagne party came to a screeching halt and was like, “WHOA!”

And then I realized what I was about to do… or what I started to do. In listening to her, I was owning her path in life. Without even realizing it, I was finding a way to blame myself for her current situation. I was letting guilt walk into a room where She didn’t belong.

My point: Guilt can be a sneaky bitch.

She shows up uninvited.

She takes a seat at the table.

And before you know it, She’s rewriting your story and making you feel like… well, crap.

As single moms, we carry a lot. We question everything. We wonder if we’re doing enough.

But here’s the thing. (Yes, there’s always a thing.)

Not everything our children go through is ours to own – and that goes for when they’re little and still ours as well as when they become young adults.

They get to make their own choices… their own mistakes… their own discoveries.

And that doesn’t take away from what we give them.

If anything, it proves we give them enough.

This is one of the many ways guilt shows up in single motherhood.

Quietly. Convincingly.

Making us question things that were never ours to question in the first place.

And if you’ve ever felt that… the heaviness, the second-guessing, the voice whispering, you should do more…

I wrote something for you.

It’s called, “Dear Guilt, You’re Not the Boss of Me.”

It’s a reminder of what’s actually yours to carry… and what isn’t.

And it’s free.

Download your free copy here:
https://www.cynren.com/bonus-dear-guilt

With love and moxie,
Mona